Funny Homeless Signs

Funny Homeless Signs

Panhandling has quickly become an art form with those practicing coming up with funny homeless signs.  A quick, witty, or creative message scrawled across a piece of cardboard can mean the difference between an empty cup and making some money.  Here are 8 of the best funny homeless signs.

You wouldn’t have known he was a Jedi without his funny homeless sign.

If this funny homeless sign is correct, then you might as well give him a dollar.  After all, his wife’s been kidnapped.  I wonder just how much the ransom was for to begin with.

Well, this isn’t really as funny as the others, but it definitely is creative.   Verbal abuse for a dollar, sounds like a deal to me.

I guess the technology sector has dropped the ball.  While this one may not be as funny as the rest, it does show some creative signage.

At least he’s being honest, or is he?  Even if he is down on his luck, he appears to have a website.  Sadly, it doesn’t seem to work.  Definitely a creative homeless sign.

I don’t know about you, but this funny homeless sign is making me rummage through my pockets for change right now.

Time are tough all around.  This funny homeless sign is showing how desperate some out of work robots are.  CGI has ruined their career.

Finally, the ninjas have struck again.  Apparently a large chunk of the homeless are being harassed by ninjas.

fromhttp://www.humor-articles.com



Ugly Dogs

There are just some dogs you see in the world and you can’t help but think, “That’s one ugly mutt.”  The fact is, most of the dogs to claim the title of the ugliest dog in the world are, in fact, pure bred canines, simply given a diminished aesthetic value thanks to years of inbreeding and basic genetic issues.  There is even a competition to crown the ugliest dog every year in California, where you can get a first-hand glimpse at some of the less visually pleasing animals we live with.  Here are some pictures of some really ugly dogs, including a few that have taken that prestigious crown.

This is Abby, a one-eyed chihuahua with mismatched ears and long back legs, making her capable of bipedal walking.  That’s a face only a mother could love.

This toothless and overweight pooch was rescued by its current owner from a shelter.  Even though it is a heart-warming story, this is one ugly dog.

Little is know about this poor fellow, but judging from his face, you really don’t want to see what is under that sweater.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, or something like that.  This large pup may be pretty to some, but a lot of people find these wrinkly behemoth just a little on the ugly side.

When it comes to the World’s Ugliest Dog competition, the Chinese Crested is a frequent winner, with either a purebred or a chihuahua mix taking the crown eight time in the past 20 years.

Here is a cuter picture of the Chinese Crested, but they’re still ugly.  While many of the animals that belong to this particular breed are cute and manageable, inbreeding by unqualified breeder, genetic issue, and basic flaws with the jaw line and skin make them appear very ugly.  Even so, they are in high demand, leading to the the inbreeding issue intensifying through those who are trying to turn a profit on this poor pups.

Remember, even ugly dogs need love, and most will make great pets for families and individuals.

from http://www.humor-articles.com

The Art Of Kissing (And Why You Should Kiss, Too)

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PSSS. Love u guys! Niayesh.Z

The Art Of Kissing (And Why You Should Kiss, Too)

Every now and then a quarrel breaks out down at the barber shop, lines are drawn, challenges leveled and, with any luck, somebody walks out with very few blood stains. All over a seemingly innocent discussion: What is the greatest sport on earth?
Some say "football". Some say "baseball". Canadians say "hockey". The rest of the world says "soccer". (Actually, they say "football", too...but they mean "soccer".)
I say: "kissing". Yes, kissing is the greatest sport on earth. Allow me to explain just a few of the reasons.
Kissing is the most versatile sport around. There are so many types of kisses to choose from – at least one for just about any occasion. There is the quick peck on the cheek kiss, the peck on each cheek kiss, the peck on your nephew's cheek kiss while grabbing the other cheek flab with your hand, the wildly passionate kiss, the elegant kiss on the hand, the dreaded kiss of death, the "Hey you! Kiss this!", and even the Florida town of Kissimmee (founded, no doubt, by early Italian pioneer kissers).

The Art of Kissing Is Easy

Kissing is easy to transport. It really doesn't matter where you are. You can kiss: at the gym, in the boardroom, in the space shuttle, even in Alaska from June through September.
Kissing requires so little equipment, which means you can do it even when not prepared for the occasion, and even when you have to travel light. This makes it the ideal participation sport for businessmen, world travelers and marsupial groupies.
Kissing always livens things up. Try this: the next time you are in an oh-so-booooring meeting that seems to last oh-so-foreeeeever, why not just kiss somebody. Go ahead; try it. See how it livens things up?
Kissing is legal in all 50 states(of America actually) and most earth-bound countries. Rumors are circulating that kissing will even be legalized soon on Mars, Jupiter and in Afghanistan.
Kissing is 100% biodegradable, so when you kiss somebody, you help the environment.
Kissing is safe to do in a moving vehicle, as long as you are not driving.
Kissing is non toxic...unless you kiss somebody who has just swallowed a bottle of Drano. Even so, kissing is still safe, as long as you do not use your mouth.
Kissing is non-fattening. This is perhaps the best news of all, because dieters now have something to keep their mouths busy while not eating, and smokers can quit smoking without having to chew candies until they a) need to diet or b) induce diabetes. (Read the headline: "Kissing prevents diabetes")
Kissing is organic, low in sodium, preservative-free, low in saturated fats and does not contain dozens of delicious ingredients that cannot be pronounced, like javelchromopntheoremicherbicidic acid.
Most kisses are not tested on animals, but who am I to stifle your sense of adventure?
You can kiss just about everyone: your boyfriend, your aunt, your wife, your veterinarian, the Prime Minister of the Duchy of Grand Fenwick and your pet aardvark. Don't try kissing them all at the same time, though...especially not your boyfriend and your wife.
Kissing meets the toughest safety regulations of any national or international sporting organization. Kissing has a tremendous safety record, except for the occasional locked braces. But a quick call for a AAA tow truck fixes that problem (CAA in Canada, AA in the UK, the local plumber in France)

Extreme Kissing NOT Recommended

The only recorded deaths involving kissing are by third parties, usually wives, husbands, spurned lovers and other spectators who somehow get past security and storm onto the playing field like that well-dressed gentleman at the Superbowl.
We do NOT recommend "extreme kissing". For instance, don't kiss an on-duty garbage truck; it is considered dangerous. Don't kiss a metal fence-post in sub-zero weather; readers in northern climates know exactly what I mean. Don't kiss any electrical outlets, or you'll look like this.
Are you paying attention? This one is important. Don't kiss the vacuum cleaner if you want to retain all your vital organs. It's OK to kiss sandpaper, just don't use your tongue. Don't kiss a chainsaw; we feel this one is self-explanatory. And don't kiss your office manager while on duty...unless you happen to be a work-from-home hermit like me.
But overall, kissing is so great that it makes baseball, hockey, football and soccer seem like bush league sports. Next time you hear a brawl at your local barbershop, just go in and give everyone a kiss. I guarantee that you will win the argument hands down. And if not, at least you will make some new friends to argue with.

Funny Pick-up Lines as Conversation Starters With Girls

The article that u r gonna read is about how 2 initiate with an attractive gal! Read it.Try it.& Tell me about the result.it's a combination of different people's thoughts & attitudes.(u know I mean my friends & I.who actually r experts in this.)

PS. I used the website articlesbase.com 2.

Love u guys! Niayesh.Z

Funny Pick-up Lines as Conversation Starters with Girls

Initiating a conversation with an attractive woman is not always an easy task. In fast, it can be quite intimidating to a lot of guys. No, this article is not going to provide you with some humorous pick-up lines to use with women. Actually, listen to me closely when I say this- do NOT use funny pick-up lines!

Does the following situation sound familiar? You see an attractive woman standing with her friends. You want to meet her, but you have no idea what to say. So, you take the advice of your friends and use one of their funny pick-up lines. However, rather than engaging further in conversation, she turns the other way in disgust.

If you still haven't figured out what happened above, I will tell you. It was an poorly chosen conversation starter. Funny pick-up lines are not effective conversation starters with girls. You may find them funny, but they do not work with women. Instead, you should try a more natural way to initiate conversation when trying to meet women.

The goal is to avoid sounding tacky or cheesy. Below, I describe four ways you can initiate a conversation in a manner that comes across more naturally and not so "obvious."

First, a great way to start a conversation is to focus on a situation or event. Situational conversation starters are terrific ways to use the environment at the time to engage in conversation with a woman.

For example, if you notice a couple arguing and she spills a drink on him, you can go up to a woman nearby and joke about how great a couple they are together. Say something like, "wow, what a close relationship they have."

Secondly, a cliche pick-up line is far different from a genuine compliment. Complimentary pick-up lines are effective because woman love flattery and will be less likely to "walk away in disgust" after you just complimented her.

Keep in mind, though, that you should compliment a woman on something other than her looks. If she is attractive, she has probably heard similar compliments many times. Rather, try complimenting her on her fashion style or her dancing skills. The point is to make the compliment appear genuine and natural.

Third, just be yourself and act normally. Approaching a woman with confidence in your own personality and abilities will set you apart from the crowd. Your straightforward, natural approach may impress her far more than you anticipate, especially if guys continue to stick by the corny pick-up lines.

Finally, there is always the cocky-funny approach. It is, actually, a great way to meet women and build the attraction further. This method was created by David DeAngelo and involves approaching a woman with a slightly arrogant attitude while also trying to make her laugh.

The reasoning behind this approach is to build yourself up so that she wants to work for your attention, and you can do this by using opportunities in the conversation to tease her. It is effective because your intentions are not obvious. You give the impression that you are just focused on enjoying the conversation and making her laugh.

Now, funny pick-up lines may actually her laugh, but they really are not the best choice of conversation starters with girls. The next time you are trying to meet a woman, opt for one of the four methods above. You will find that they are much more effective at meeting women.